Justin Bieber served as a presenter during last night's Fashion Rocks showcase in New York — he, along with supermodel Lara Stone, introduced a Calvin Klein runway show as part of the night's proceedings. Poor Justin was booed loudly as he popped up on stage; he responded to this, as one should, by stripping down to his underwear and flexing for the audience. As he explained on Twitter later, it's a tried-and-tested way of dealing with the haters, as observed by the Bieber family for generations now. Please do take care before watching the Vine Justin shared alongside his tweet with your speakers on:
Grandma always said kill 'em with kindness...and then strip on live national tv. Lol. https://t.co/bKbeDJVsqJ
— Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) September 10, 2014
Now, note that Justin's underwear is Calvin Klein-branded — it's not that we should question the Biebs' commitment to stripping down in public, but we should maybe stop and think, Hmm, might this have been at least a somewhat choreographed, brand-conscious stunt? What I'm saying is that these poses had been practiced in a mirror beforehand, on more than one occasion:
1. Justin's only just arrived on stage and he's already giving A+ pout.
This is the face of a manchild experienced with schmoozing hot models.
2. JAWLINE.
Why, he might be looking at you, his one true love. He'll find you in the crowd; your love is written in the stars.
4. This pose is called "the male gaze."
Male models don't understand the irony.
Male models don't understand the irony.
5. Quintessential "You're taking pics of me while I'm getting undressed??!" faux-bashfulness. They don't teach this at Barbizon, you've just got to have it.
P.S. Look at the girl's expression in the background. If it emerged today there was a scandalous hole in the back of Bieber's boxer briefs, this girl would have known about it.
6. These women too.
They look like they're getting an eyeful. And they like it.
They look like they're getting an eyeful. And they like it.
7. This bent back pose is straight out of America's Next Top Model.
Like when Tyra tells a contestant to hunch up, but fashionably.
Like when Tyra tells a contestant to hunch up, but fashionably.
8. Justin is giving himself a wolf-whistle. Fair enough.
Note: I will also accept that this might be a duckface in the making; either is a valid pose.
9. Spontaneity for the cameras.
10. JAWLINE REDUX.
11. OK this isn't a pose. I just want to acknowledge that Justin wears ankle socks.
Crisp, white ankle socks.
12. Million-dollar smile, right?
It's either a smile or rampant eyefucking, you decide. Justin is, I'm pretty sure, arching his back just a little to max out his six-pack's definition.
It's either a smile or rampant eyefucking, you decide. Justin is, I'm pretty sure, arching his back just a little to max out his six-pack's definition.
13. This is cute.
14. And now we enter the sassy, try-hard male modeling segment of this photo package.
Get ready, because it's going to be Zoolander good, starting with this little teapot-style hand on hip.
15. This is how you shrug off the haters, you see.
16. And give them your best, lip-biting sex face.
17. This is an angle straight off a David Beckham underwear collection poster.
Again, someone has been practicing.
18. #BieberBulge.
19. #BieberButt. The Biebs has a pert butt, don't hate on it.
Note that the lip-biting sex face is still happening.
Note that the lip-biting sex face is still happening.
20. Now, see (and appreciate) the slight bend through the knees happening here.
As before, it's a shrewd model's move designed to max out the ripples in those taut abdominal muscles.
As before, it's a shrewd model's move designed to max out the ripples in those taut abdominal muscles.
21. OK, this lip thing is out of control now.
22. So let's end with a gigglesnort.
Still modelesque though.
23. And one last nonchalant shrug.
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